The Ben Cousins Interview.

This is going to be quite emotional. No apologies.

I've just watched the Ben Cousins interview on Channel 7 (more like an interrogation). Hearing all of those questions being asked of someone who is still sick in the accusatory tone that they were just got my back up something fierce. 

Now, before I say anything further, I know full well that the only one responsible for Ben Cousins is Ben Cousins. He is the only one who can decide he's ready to take the steps to getting better. Unfortunately I don't think interviews like this help one bit.

Back at the end of 2014 I had a total mental breakdown and became depressed. I watched, wracked with guilt and self-loathing as my house turned into a total dump and my job slipped away from me. I hated myself every minute of it, and I wanted to fix it so badly. The problem was, I could barely move out of bed. Every day that my boss let me have sick leave was a relief. I'm still ashamed to this day of the mess I made of everything, even though I'm years removed from it. It took me a long time to get help and turn my life around - and I've never been addicted to anything apart from nicotine (275 days ciggie-free!). 

Every time someone saw the mess I was in. Every time my bosses dragged me in to rip into me for taking so much time off. That guilt piled on top of me, like it was trying to push me back under the water. I feel like this interview, and some of the questions and the way they were asked, would do the same for Ben. He should never have agreed to it. Channel 7 should have known better than to offer it. This was just a bad, bad, BAD idea all around. Hope Channel 7 enjoy all that $$$.

If you're suffering drug addiction, depression, anxiety - it's hard. You want to fix things but you're stuck. The biggest thing you can do is reach out for professional help. Feel free to shop around to find the mental health professional that suits you. You might need medication, you might not. The most important thing though is to forgive yourself. You're sick. Your actions might have contributed to your illness, but no one is perfect. You have your entire future to do better and be better, you just have to give yourself the chance. Be kind to yourself.