Saturday, 31 January 2015

Top 5 Creepypastas

This blog post is NOT for the faint of heart, as I count down my 5 favourite Creepypastas.  Given that I'm a mounmental coward who scares easily, it's fair to say a few of these have given me nightmares.  As such I'm not providing links - you can search them and be scared yourself.

5. Squidwards Suicide

It's mainly the artwork that people have come up with in regards to this pasta rather than the pasta itself that scare the living daylights out of me.  This is a pasta about a intern at a Nickelodeon studio who with a few other people come across a rather disturbing episode of Spongebob Squarepants which never aired thankfully, which concludes with Squidward committing suicide.  This one resonates with me because I've always identified strongly with Squidward - my siblings were the type to always try and intrude on my personal space in a similar fashion to what Spongebob and Patrick do to poor Squidward (hence why I hate Spongebob and Patrick so much).  Poor Squidward

4. Jeff the Killer

Again, it's the picture that does me in.  Especially those eyes, considering that whenever I leave the house I try to avoid eye contact as much as possible.  However I eventually found out the story behind Jeff and now I feel a bit sorry for him (although the picture STILL gives me nightmares if I see it) as I too got bullied pretty badly when I was younger.  However, even though homicide does seem appealing sometimes it's not my preferred method of dealing with conflict.

3. Abandon Lonliness

This Pokémon-themed pasta is probably more of a sadpasta than a creepy one - everyone knows the theory that in the Gen 1 Pokémon games you killed Blues Raticate on the S.S. Anne right?  Well, this pasta explores the three Gen 1 characters, Red, Leaf (from the remake) and Blue as Blue in his grief abandons his Eevee Lonliness to Leaf, who is tricked by ghosts into killing the poor little Eevee.  It's not so much scary as it is upsetting, to think of that poor little Eevee being regarded as a "curse".

2. Sonic.exe

Now THIS one I will gladly link you to, as I find it very hard to be scared by this one.  Mainly because it's Sonic, and there is absolutely nothing scary about Sonic in the slightest.  Click here to watch the Super Gaming Brothers Johnny and Elliot tackle the fan-made game that accompanies the pasta.

1. Tails Doll

THIS one makes me laugh, mainly because of the aforementioned Super Gaming Brothers.  You see, the original pasta goes that while playing Sonic R one day some kids get murdered by the unlockable character the Tails Doll.  Given that in Sonic R the Tails Doll is fairly useless, it's actually quite a surprising pasta.  The Super Gaming Brothers took this to the next level by including the Tails Doll as a character in a few of their reviews, mainly as an incompetent, murderous animation.  Click here to watch all the reviews that include the Tails Doll, including reviews of Sonic Genesis, Sonic R, The Saw Game, Mega Man and Ghosts and Goblins.  Even if you aren't interested in the Tails Doll, you can at least appreciate Johnnys reviews.

BTW I accept NO responsibilities for any nightmares you might have from reading this. 


Wednesday, 28 January 2015

It's time to vote again.

WARNING: This is going to get preachy.  So if you want to be closed-minded and/or don't like being preached at, look away now.

For those who are unaware, the mighty state of Queensland, Australia is having a State Election on the 31st of January.  Today when I got home, I was reminded of this fact when I discovered two leaflets in my mailbox - one from the LNP (Liberal National Party) and one from Labor.

Firstly, I want to critisise both leaflets. Neither of them had a phone number on them (more on this later), and only the Labor one had a website I could go to. In fact, the LNP one was a simple "Don't vote for Labor" whereas Labor was at least nice eough to provide some minor detail on what their policies were about.  I don't want to be told what to do, I want to be told why I should give you the time of day in the first place.

Now, back to my first point about the phone numbers.  I have a rule: If you want to leave stuff in my mailbox telling me to vote for you, then you'd better be ready for me to call you and ask questions.  Yes, most of the answers I want can be found on the website, but I want to know that you have the time to talk to the people you're serving and listen to their concerns.  I had a lovely chat to a man from the Labor party, who was sympathetic to my concerns about mental health services (I have to travel to Caboolture if I want to see a psychologist, which I desperately need), public transport (especially in regional areas) and coal mining (YICK).  However when I finally got a hold of the LNP, I was told they'd call me tomorrow.

Now, this is where I get preachy.  I do this EVERY election, State or Federal.  I want to be absolutely certain that I am using the power of my vote the best I can, and they way to do that is to be informed.  Policies change, people and personnel change, new problems need new ideas and I want to make sure that I get the biggest bang for my buck.  A lot of people I know don't do this.  They're either a) apathetic and won't take the vote seriously or b) have stuck with a party for years and refuse to even consider anything else.  Nearly all of the above however LOVE to complain no matter what government we get in.  I get it, they're politicians and we know we're screwed either way, but I want the parties to know that I at least am keeping tabs on them. 

More people need to research their votes and make sure it counts.  Talk to your local Members office, call them up, make them tell you why you should vote for them, make sure they align with your values and what you believe is the best way to run this country.  You don't need to be a political know-it-all, you just need to put the pressure on and use the power of your vote.

I know voting is a pain, and I know they're all liars and cheats, but the reason they are liars and cheats is because the people have allowed them to get away with it.  If you call up a party and you don't get answers you like, then keep ringing around until you find someone who gives you what you want.  Don't vote for for the LNP or Labor just because they're the two big parties - make them earn it.  We have the power to hold these people to account, let's do it and restore some pride to our great State (hard to do when we have the plastic parade down on the Gold Coast, but we try.  Stupid cold toast scums).

And if you now have a headache from my sermon, read some Chuckles and Giggles (please)!

Monday, 26 January 2015

It's been a while, but I'm pissed off.

Yes, I know, I haven't posted in a long time.  I've been super-busy working on Chuckles and Giggles and soon Experiment 24-42 will be released.  I will try to remember this blog in future, I promise!

Anyway, something has really ticked me off, and yes, it's AFL related.  More specifically, it's a state.  There is a reason that most people refer to people from the far south as "Victards" and that's because the loudest of them seem to be the most bigoted, insular and stubborn people in the country - ESPECIALLY when it comes to their precious game.

You see, they thought this game was so great, they wanted to expand into the rest of the country (and they're right, it's a brilliant game).  They wanted traditional NRL states NSW and QLD to participate, and to love the sport as they do.  However, they didn't want those teams actually WINNING did they?

You see, most Victorians don't like the Academy System.  Why? Because it means that NSW and QLD teams will have a chance to be equal to their Victorian bretheren.  And the Victards can't have that can they? They are so concerned with their perceived superiority that they will retard their own progress in expanding the game.  They can't risk anyone beating them.  It's like that kid on your street who invites you over to play his new video game and then cracks the shits because you beat him. 

Okay, then we won't play your precious game anymore, you can go back to being your beloved VFL.  Just don't expect the lucrative TV deals and $$$ you've come to expect your game to generate.  You can forget about becoming an international game, because how can you do that when you can't even win over your nation?

No matter how many times you explain to these Victards that since most of the AFL talent is grown in Victoria, South Australia and Western Australia which means that the QLD and NSW lists are more susceptable to poaching from clubs in the traditional state, they will still rant about how unfair it is that we get Academies and we get first pick at them.  "Oh it's all about culture, you just have to win more games." They argue.  The Lions were on the cusp on a hat-trick when Des Headland headed back to Freo.  Besides the fact that no team can keep winning forever, and that every team is going to face its lean years (see: Western Bulldogs, St. Kilda).  Victorian teams are able to weather these pretty well and rebuild easily, but without some sort of Academy or retention allowance the QLD and NSW teams can't, simply because at first opportunity their players will be rushing back home, not just to Mum, but to the opportunities they will get being AFL players in AFL states that they simply can't get in QLD and NSW because the game isn't big enough yet.

Of course, the Victards who read this will simply bleat "yeah but yeah but yeah but" so I've probably wasted my breath.  To the Victorians who actually understand, thank you, you're gems. And to my fellow QLDers (and I suppose those favourite-player stealing sods in NSW too), well, we've got a long fight ahead of us, hopefully one day we can find someone as loud as Eddie to fight for our cause.