Monday, 20 July 2015

How to tell if you're a "successful writer"

1. You and your cat have an armed truce over lap space

WILL YOU MOVE I'M TRYING TO WRITE A BOOK HERE!

2. If you have a late night, everyone assumes it's because you were writing

And they almost never stop to think you might actually go out or even have a sex life.

3. Your family/friends/coworkers know the plot to your story and have never read a word

They even know when you're about to start talking about your book, and their eyes sort of glaze over and it's like, are you even LISTENING to me?!

4. You have the stupidest conversations about the most random things

Why didn't the chicken cross the railway tracks instead?

5. I was writing and I forgot

And it's your own fault if you catch a cold because you left your scarf at home.

6. You know you suck, but you just can't stop!

Let's face it, I'm probably the shittest writer in the world, no one reads my work and I'll never be rich and famous.  But damnit, I have my own universe and you don't so NEH NEH NEH NEH!!!!

7. You write stupid blog posts like this

Because it's fun!

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