Friday, 24 July 2015

My strained relationship with TV

I really don't have the attention span to watch TV.  Sometimes if I'm in the mood I'll sit down and watch an episode or two of something (usually M*A*S*H, Miranda, Red Dwarf, Blackadder, Naruto, Neon Genesis Evangelion, DragonBall/Z, Zoids, or if I'm REALLY in the mood, How I Met Your Mother) but I really, REALLY need to be in the mood, otherwise I'll get bored part of the way in and go and do something else (mainly lie in bed and think all sorts of interesting thoughts or go for a walk and think all sorts of interesting thoughts - I think I might spend a little too much time in my own noggin). Don't get me started on movies, my tolerance for them died off around my 22nd birthday which is when I discovered walking. Even before then my mind used to wander while lounging around the cinema snuggled up to my ex (and I even fell asleep during Avatar. I suck, I know). If I'm going to have any external entertainment, music or books are my poison of choice. With a book, you need to create the pictures and sounds yourself in your own head, and with music you can dance, unlike a television show or movie where it's all done for you and all you need to do is just sit there and watch.

That being said, as a child I did get through a fair amount of TV, and I do have favourite shows and characters. Here are my top 5 TV characters:

5. Shinji Ikari (Neon Genesis Evangelion)

A lot of people think Shinji is a whiny brat.  Well, technically they're right, but given everything that he goes through throughout the events of Neon Genesis Evangelion, I think he has a right to be. Abandoned by his father, who only ever sees him as a tool to get what he wants, psychologically manipulated into being an Eva pilot against the horrifying Angels (including one that absorbs him and Unit 01, sending him on a mega mind-trip), not to mention the pressure to defeat them lest they destroy humanity. That's on top of the usual crap that boys his age have to go through (puberty isn't easy on boys either you know!) and overall I think Shinji handles it pretty well. Especially in the original ending to the series!

4. Seras Victoria (Hellsing/Hellsing Ultimate)

This Draculina is BAD ASS with a captial BAD ASS. Able to wield giant guns and cannons, beat up guys with her little finger and smear Nazi heads along walls like I Can't Believe It's Not Butter, she's also very much a bit of comic relief from the dramatics of Alucard and Sir Integra. One of my favourite moments is when she firsts encounters Jan Valentine - and totally destroys him. Another favourite moment is when she guides some tourists between Alucard and Alexander Anderson to prevent them from fighting and destroying a museum. This spot could have easily have gone to Walter had he not betrayed the Hellsing organization.

3. Vegeta (DragonBall Z)

He's powerful, arrogant and clever, and easily the character who goes through the biggest transformation in the DBZ Universe. He goes from an evil bastard to just being a bastard, but a bastard who surprisingly enough loves his family and would do anything to protect them. Vegeta and Bulma are another one of my favourite 'ships, and I think they go well together, as neither of them are "pure of heart" (as Bulma proved when it was shown that she couldn't use the Flying Nimbus), yet still manage to be good people. His part in the defeat of Cell is one of my favourite moments, and I definitely shed a tear when he blew himself up against Majin Buu

2. Edward (Thomas the Tank Engine)

Oh leave me alone. If you follow me on Instagram (@kezzstar24) you know I have a thing for trains. I love the designs of the original Thomas the Tank Engine trains, and I love the models as well. Edward for me however remains a bit of an inspiration. He's old, should be worn out, yet is wise and hard-working, forever patient and does his job better than any other engine. I'm just furious they nerfed him in later episodes. One of my favourite episodes is when James abuses him, calling him old, and then has to be saved by Edward after a couple of kids get into his controls and set him off down the rails. Suck that James.

1. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce (M*A*S*H)

Like you DIDN'T see this coming! Not only is Hawkeye played by Alan Alda (who was GORGEOUS in his prime), but the character is so well-written and complex that I can't help but love him. He's funny, but that in part is a coping mechanism to the horror he sees daily, which he manages to be compassionate in spite of. He's not afraid to stand up for what he believes in, and will help those in need regardless of race, religion, gender. He's far from perfect, being a sexist, womanising alcoholic who eventually learns to have some respect for the female gender (thank you Margaret).

Of course, who can forget his greatest moment of all:

"Draftees of the world arise! You have nothing to lose but your cookies!"

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