Thursday, 27 March 2014


Anyone who knows me (i.e. all of you) will know I love a good conspiracy - and I love coming up with them.

So, let me unfurl my latest beauty involving Carlton, Collingwood, Mick Malthouse, Eddie McGuire and a 100-year grudge.

You see, Carlton were going places under Brett Ratten, and Collingwood only had a limited premiership window (as do most teams, unless you're Geelong).  Naturally, Eddie couldn't stomach the thought of Carlton getting ahead of the Pies, so he set in motion a plan.  He created the plan where Miserable Mick would leave Collingwood, looking like a very attractive coaching option for Carlton, who would NEVER pass up the chance to get one on Collingwood.  So, now Carlton have gotten rid of a favourite son (I wondered where the Lions got the idea from) for a coach who probably won't do much for them, and Collingwood now have the chance to one-up them.  And he would have gotten away with it, if it hadn't been for that silly Nathan Buckley being a spud.  Actually...yeah, you're right, no Collingwood supporter is THAT smart.

Anyway.  Today I had to deal with one of my worst fears - stairs.  I hate stairs, I always feel like I'm going to fall, and it's 10x worse in bad weather like the constant rain we're having at the moment.  Anyway, I tripped up on some stairs and completely freaked out.  I'm not sure how other people on the Autistic Spectrum deal when they freak out, but I feel it with my whole body, sometimes for up to an hour afterwards, every nerve on edge and stinging, my heart hurting (I'm talking a dull chest ache) and breathing difficult.  It makes it hard to think, which means my well-practised social skills go haywire.  I used to call it the adrenaline ache, as it felt like an adrenaline hit in my knuckles.  Most times I can recover in an hour or so, but there are times when it compounds and turns into a dreaded panic attack or meltdown, which I really DON'T feel like describing right now.  Still, I very, VERY rarely have them nowadays, which I am exceedingly thankful for :3.

The only real cure for these attacks seems to be the most ridiculous thing in the world, but funnily enough it works - footy.  A good game of Aussie Rules Football, especially if my Lions are involved, is a great way to unwind and calm down.  Speaking of which, this Richmond/Carlton game is getting rather spiteful.  Never been a fan of spiteful games, with stupid frees and reports being handed out like lollies.  Give me a real tussle any day of the week where both opponents just want to win.

1 comment:

  1. My girlfriend is autistic and gets the same problem with stairs. Her solution is to have a sexy aspie hold her up from behind in a sexy way every time she gets to a set of stairs.

    And when I get my hands on him I'm going to kill him ( Ba dom boom ching )