Sometimes, you're unmotivated. You're down and out. Suddenly, one of those songs comes on, the blood starts pumping, the belief comes back, you're just that little bit motivated to get up and keep going - and that's all you need. Here are some of my favourite "pump-up" songs.
"Hello, Hooray" - Alice Cooper
Those first two notes set the tone for this song. You sway along with Alices beautiful voice, feeling stronger and stronger until you get to the peak -
"GOD,
I,
FEEL,
SO,
STRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!"
How do you NOT feel strong after hearing that?!
"All Hail Shadow" -Crush 40
That rockin' guitar, that tough beat, those awesome lyrics. Nothing can stop you now, not when this is blasting out of the speakers!
"One of a Kind" - Breaking Point
You can see why Rob. Van. Dam. Uses this as his theme song. The intro sets the tone - you know something's coming, and it's One of a Kind, loud and thrilling!
What?
"Escape from the City" - Ted Poley
Ironically (given I escaped TO the city) this is my "theme song". From the first "WOO!" its fast pace makes you want to run and run and run at super-sonic speed while being chased by a G.U.N truck.
And finally:
The Brisbane Lions Club Song.
This song encompasses everything that I am, and everything that I ever will be - a Brisbane Lion. Most of my friends are Lions, my cats are Lions (yes, I'm one of those sad people who gets pet memberships), my family are Lions and I have two Lions tattooed on me.
Although I prefer this version:
Monday, 28 April 2014
Friday, 25 April 2014
What a great day!
Got a lot of ground to cover today - what a blast!
First off, it's ANZAC Day. Through all of the scandal that plagues our Defence Force in recent times, you can't ignore the fact that these people have put their hands up saying they're ready to die for this country. They're willing to give up their futures, their hopes and dreams, family and friends, they're willing to stand in front of a gun and watch it disappear in the blink of an eye to protect Australia and her interests. We all have a say in protecting this country, whether it's reporting something or someone suspcious, donating to institutions like Legacy or even signing up to the Military ourselves (I tried once and got told I was too immature...sigh).
Secondly:
ALL HAIL PATFULL!
Lions rise again!
Obiliterating everything that's not your friend!
Nothing can stop you now!
Riewoldt can't get you down!
When there's nothing left to lose,
YOU WILL WIN!
SUPERMAN FLIES AGAIN!!!!!!! We won!!!!!!!!!! At first I thought it would be another bad game from my sponsored player, but boy did Joel Patfull stand up! I knew he would! Trust me, the player that Joel is, this form will stick and he will be the 3-time Club Champ. Absolute legend. I loved the ANZAC Guernsey too, shame you can't buy them. LIONS FOR PREMIERS 2014!!!!!!!!!!! :3
Thirdly, I tried something new today - I went to my first live NRL game at Suncorp Stadium. The atmosphere was a cross between a T20 Cricket match and a footy game - and very loud. I'd LOVE to get 44, 000 people to the Gabba (well...yeah, good point, there isn't enough room). For some reason though Suncorp felt smaller than the Gabba, a bit more intimate. It was good to see the Rabbitohs get up over the Broncos too, while I won't be watching NRL on TV (because it's so fucking boring) I will definitely be seeing the Rabbitohs the next time they're in Brisbane.
And Norf won. WTF?
(Interestingly this is my 24th blog post. Huzzah for the number 24!)
First off, it's ANZAC Day. Through all of the scandal that plagues our Defence Force in recent times, you can't ignore the fact that these people have put their hands up saying they're ready to die for this country. They're willing to give up their futures, their hopes and dreams, family and friends, they're willing to stand in front of a gun and watch it disappear in the blink of an eye to protect Australia and her interests. We all have a say in protecting this country, whether it's reporting something or someone suspcious, donating to institutions like Legacy or even signing up to the Military ourselves (I tried once and got told I was too immature...sigh).
Secondly:
ALL HAIL PATFULL!
Lions rise again!
Obiliterating everything that's not your friend!
Nothing can stop you now!
Riewoldt can't get you down!
When there's nothing left to lose,
YOU WILL WIN!
SUPERMAN FLIES AGAIN!!!!!!! We won!!!!!!!!!! At first I thought it would be another bad game from my sponsored player, but boy did Joel Patfull stand up! I knew he would! Trust me, the player that Joel is, this form will stick and he will be the 3-time Club Champ. Absolute legend. I loved the ANZAC Guernsey too, shame you can't buy them. LIONS FOR PREMIERS 2014!!!!!!!!!!! :3
Thirdly, I tried something new today - I went to my first live NRL game at Suncorp Stadium. The atmosphere was a cross between a T20 Cricket match and a footy game - and very loud. I'd LOVE to get 44, 000 people to the Gabba (well...yeah, good point, there isn't enough room). For some reason though Suncorp felt smaller than the Gabba, a bit more intimate. It was good to see the Rabbitohs get up over the Broncos too, while I won't be watching NRL on TV (because it's so fucking boring) I will definitely be seeing the Rabbitohs the next time they're in Brisbane.
And Norf won. WTF?
(Interestingly this is my 24th blog post. Huzzah for the number 24!)
Thursday, 24 April 2014
Anxiety
"What have you got to be anxious about?"
"Look at everything you have going for you!"
"Get over it!"
Anxiety can be a good thing in small doses. That gut feeling you get when something isn't quite right, worrying about an exam, angsting over a problem - these will make you anxious, but the important thing is that anxiety should go away after the problem is resolved.
For some of us, it never goes away.
What are we anxious about? Things that everyone else takes for granted - going to the shop, going to work, ringing someone on the phone, opening the door when someone knocks on it.
If you don't suffer from anxiety, you're probably wondering WTF? But if you can tell me how I can stop my heart rate from doubling every time I have to go to the shop, if you can stop my brain from releasing the chemicals that gives me the feeling of dread every time the boss calls me into his office (I can't even remember the last time I got in trouble) then please, tell me so these horrible feelings can stop.
No one has full control over their mind. Everyone has a sub-conscious that seems to have a will of its own. And for some of us that means everlasting anxiety, depression and for some a complete lack of control of their own bodies.
You can learn to manage it. You can learn to breathe deeply and calmly to control your bodies reactions. You can avoid situations that you know will make the situation worse. You can learn to avoid substances like alcohol or caffiene which have a negative effect on your health.
But it's always there. And it builds. And builds. At least a few times a week I overload. It's nothing drastic, and I usually calm myself. Sometimes overloads can even be enjoyable, like at the footy where I'm allowed to be fully Autistic and scream and cheer and jump and clap to my hearts content. Everyone once in a while I'll have a panic attack, usually resulting in a day off work and me being rather upset.
And then, maybe once or twice a year, I'll have a full-blown Autistic meltdown. It happens when I'm at panic attack stage, and something minute that I've built up in my head goes wrong and suddenly I'm in trouble.
It hurts. It feels like an andrenaline rush right under your skin, so painful that any contact will burn. Touch me when I'm in this state and you WILL get bitten (and I have fangs, so watch out!). It gets into your chest. You can't breathe. It's in your MIND. You have to get it out. You smash yourself against anything, you try and crack your own head open to try and relieve the pressure. You're confused, scared and hurting. And then after a minute or two of thrashing, smacking yourself, attacking anyone who comes near, you're out of energy. And you can barely move. This is the worst part as you can still feel the pressure, but now you don't have the energy to try and get some relief. You're scared. Eventually, it all wears off, you pick yourself up and you move on.
This isn't all in my head. This is a very real physical problem I have. That many people have. It's not rational. We feel these emotions whether they're warranted or not. We can't change it anymore than we can change our DNA. Please, I know a lot of people are well-intentioned, but as irrational as it is our anxiety is real. Please don't invalidate it because the situation doesn't call for it. Be there, hug us, talk to us, be calm for us.
To everyone out there like me who suffers from Aspergers and anxiety (and even depression), this is for you. It's hard, but we can all get through it.
Kind of explains why I love Sonic the Hedgehog so much really...
"Look at everything you have going for you!"
"Get over it!"
Anxiety can be a good thing in small doses. That gut feeling you get when something isn't quite right, worrying about an exam, angsting over a problem - these will make you anxious, but the important thing is that anxiety should go away after the problem is resolved.
For some of us, it never goes away.
What are we anxious about? Things that everyone else takes for granted - going to the shop, going to work, ringing someone on the phone, opening the door when someone knocks on it.
If you don't suffer from anxiety, you're probably wondering WTF? But if you can tell me how I can stop my heart rate from doubling every time I have to go to the shop, if you can stop my brain from releasing the chemicals that gives me the feeling of dread every time the boss calls me into his office (I can't even remember the last time I got in trouble) then please, tell me so these horrible feelings can stop.
No one has full control over their mind. Everyone has a sub-conscious that seems to have a will of its own. And for some of us that means everlasting anxiety, depression and for some a complete lack of control of their own bodies.
You can learn to manage it. You can learn to breathe deeply and calmly to control your bodies reactions. You can avoid situations that you know will make the situation worse. You can learn to avoid substances like alcohol or caffiene which have a negative effect on your health.
But it's always there. And it builds. And builds. At least a few times a week I overload. It's nothing drastic, and I usually calm myself. Sometimes overloads can even be enjoyable, like at the footy where I'm allowed to be fully Autistic and scream and cheer and jump and clap to my hearts content. Everyone once in a while I'll have a panic attack, usually resulting in a day off work and me being rather upset.
And then, maybe once or twice a year, I'll have a full-blown Autistic meltdown. It happens when I'm at panic attack stage, and something minute that I've built up in my head goes wrong and suddenly I'm in trouble.
It hurts. It feels like an andrenaline rush right under your skin, so painful that any contact will burn. Touch me when I'm in this state and you WILL get bitten (and I have fangs, so watch out!). It gets into your chest. You can't breathe. It's in your MIND. You have to get it out. You smash yourself against anything, you try and crack your own head open to try and relieve the pressure. You're confused, scared and hurting. And then after a minute or two of thrashing, smacking yourself, attacking anyone who comes near, you're out of energy. And you can barely move. This is the worst part as you can still feel the pressure, but now you don't have the energy to try and get some relief. You're scared. Eventually, it all wears off, you pick yourself up and you move on.
This isn't all in my head. This is a very real physical problem I have. That many people have. It's not rational. We feel these emotions whether they're warranted or not. We can't change it anymore than we can change our DNA. Please, I know a lot of people are well-intentioned, but as irrational as it is our anxiety is real. Please don't invalidate it because the situation doesn't call for it. Be there, hug us, talk to us, be calm for us.
To everyone out there like me who suffers from Aspergers and anxiety (and even depression), this is for you. It's hard, but we can all get through it.
Kind of explains why I love Sonic the Hedgehog so much really...
"If you have time to worry, then run!"
Tuesday, 22 April 2014
"A Solitary Blue" - Cynthia Voigt
The third book in Cynthia Voigts Tillerman Cycle is the first one I read, and by far my favourite. As much as I like Dicey Tillerman, Jeff Greene interests me far more.
The book doesn't pull punches, and starts straight off with Jeffs mother, Melody, walking out on him as a seven-year-old. What follows is Jeff learning to live with a father he never really identified with before (the Professor), learning about love, and most importantly, learning about who he is. In the first part of the book, you don't get a sense of who Jeff is, which almost put me off the book. He's a shadow in his own life, trying to hide himself, trying to be what everyone else wants him to be - out of the fear that if he doesn't, his father will leave him too. The only time you get a glimpse of life from the boy is when he visits his mother one summer, but even then what you see isn't true.
Jeff really comes into his own in the second part of the book, after he decides his mother doesn't love him. After withdrawing into himself more than ever, Jeff becomes someone. He's a smart kid, a bit shy, a bit cheeky, who values his friends (Brother Thomas, Phil, Andy, Mina and especially Dicey and the Tillermans) and loves nature. He's laid back (just like his father) and has a power about him where he can read peoples emotions (just like his mother).
It's an interesting conflict. At first glance, one might look at Melody as the antagonist and Jeff as the protagonist, but really, there is no antagonist or protagonist. Jeff simply has to learn that there is a part of him that comes from his mother, and a part of him that comes from his father, and he has to reconcile those two parts of himself together.
It's also interesting how Jeffs implicit conflict compares with that of his future fiancé, whose conflict is definitely explicit. In the first Tillerman book, "Homecoming", Dicey and her three siblings James, Marybeth and Sammy, are abandoned by their mother and forced to walk from Provincetown, Massachusetts to Crisfield, Maryland to find family to take care of them. In later books Dicey has to deal with more implicit conflict of her own, including having to deal with her siblings becoming more independant of her in "Dicey's song" (I hear you sister), but most of her conflicts are with what happens outside her - moving her siblings to her grandmothers home, dealing with new friendships at school, and her boating business ("Seventeen Against the Dealer").
I love Cynthias work, and I reckon every teenager/young adult should read her work, especially the Tillerman Cycle.
The book doesn't pull punches, and starts straight off with Jeffs mother, Melody, walking out on him as a seven-year-old. What follows is Jeff learning to live with a father he never really identified with before (the Professor), learning about love, and most importantly, learning about who he is. In the first part of the book, you don't get a sense of who Jeff is, which almost put me off the book. He's a shadow in his own life, trying to hide himself, trying to be what everyone else wants him to be - out of the fear that if he doesn't, his father will leave him too. The only time you get a glimpse of life from the boy is when he visits his mother one summer, but even then what you see isn't true.
Jeff really comes into his own in the second part of the book, after he decides his mother doesn't love him. After withdrawing into himself more than ever, Jeff becomes someone. He's a smart kid, a bit shy, a bit cheeky, who values his friends (Brother Thomas, Phil, Andy, Mina and especially Dicey and the Tillermans) and loves nature. He's laid back (just like his father) and has a power about him where he can read peoples emotions (just like his mother).
It's an interesting conflict. At first glance, one might look at Melody as the antagonist and Jeff as the protagonist, but really, there is no antagonist or protagonist. Jeff simply has to learn that there is a part of him that comes from his mother, and a part of him that comes from his father, and he has to reconcile those two parts of himself together.
It's also interesting how Jeffs implicit conflict compares with that of his future fiancé, whose conflict is definitely explicit. In the first Tillerman book, "Homecoming", Dicey and her three siblings James, Marybeth and Sammy, are abandoned by their mother and forced to walk from Provincetown, Massachusetts to Crisfield, Maryland to find family to take care of them. In later books Dicey has to deal with more implicit conflict of her own, including having to deal with her siblings becoming more independant of her in "Dicey's song" (I hear you sister), but most of her conflicts are with what happens outside her - moving her siblings to her grandmothers home, dealing with new friendships at school, and her boating business ("Seventeen Against the Dealer").
I love Cynthias work, and I reckon every teenager/young adult should read her work, especially the Tillerman Cycle.
Monday, 21 April 2014
The most important job - being a big sister.
I am the older sister of three interesting (read: wacko) people: Adam, Meagan and Natalie. It's something I take seriously, seeing as I have no older siblings of my own, which I would have loved to have had. Imagine having an older sibling to drive you around, take you to the movies, go to the footy with, lend you copious amounts of money...let's face it, I tend to spoil my siblings when I get the chance.
Adam is the next in line after me, and he gets it pretty rough. Mostly because he's a dickhead who has questionable taste in friends, but I guess some of it is bad luck. But I will admit he's getting a lot better. I remember visiting him when he lived in Melbourne. Even though circumstances forced him back home, I was still so proud of him, and still am (hopefully he never EVER reads this blog). While I don't ever see him giving up smoking (sigh) he's got his life mostly on track and I can only see things getting better for him (that hurt to type).
Meagan is next, and while we look nothing alike we used to be pretty close. I guess me moving away to the big smoke has strained things somewhat, but she's still the only person I know who appreciates the word "pretentious" as much as I do. She's also the most talented person I know - I can just see her as a backup dancer in a music video or on stage to some pop star someday. Her only real problem is that she can be a bit of a lazy cow, but other than that she'll be alright.
Lastly, there's Natalie. I haven't known Nat very long, but I see so much of myself in her. She's my only sibling who's also has Aspergers Syndrome, and I can almost see her running into many of the same roadblocks I have, such as a very overactive imagination, being a bit too trusting and friendly, being a bit hyperactive and a lack of social graces. Hopefully though since she was caught and diagnosed early she might stand a better chance than what I did.
All three of them are pretty awesome and unique, and while we don't all have the same parents (some of them not even sharing any parents!) we're all pretty strong individuals...and all completely mental.
I love being a big sister!
Adam is the next in line after me, and he gets it pretty rough. Mostly because he's a dickhead who has questionable taste in friends, but I guess some of it is bad luck. But I will admit he's getting a lot better. I remember visiting him when he lived in Melbourne. Even though circumstances forced him back home, I was still so proud of him, and still am (hopefully he never EVER reads this blog). While I don't ever see him giving up smoking (sigh) he's got his life mostly on track and I can only see things getting better for him (that hurt to type).
Meagan is next, and while we look nothing alike we used to be pretty close. I guess me moving away to the big smoke has strained things somewhat, but she's still the only person I know who appreciates the word "pretentious" as much as I do. She's also the most talented person I know - I can just see her as a backup dancer in a music video or on stage to some pop star someday. Her only real problem is that she can be a bit of a lazy cow, but other than that she'll be alright.
Lastly, there's Natalie. I haven't known Nat very long, but I see so much of myself in her. She's my only sibling who's also has Aspergers Syndrome, and I can almost see her running into many of the same roadblocks I have, such as a very overactive imagination, being a bit too trusting and friendly, being a bit hyperactive and a lack of social graces. Hopefully though since she was caught and diagnosed early she might stand a better chance than what I did.
All three of them are pretty awesome and unique, and while we don't all have the same parents (some of them not even sharing any parents!) we're all pretty strong individuals...and all completely mental.
I love being a big sister!
Sunday, 20 April 2014
The Score Review System.
If the scums had lost today, especially by less than a goal, I reckon they would have had cause to despute the result.
The Score Review System that the AFL thought they were so smart bringing in is a complete and utter failure. How many times has the umpire gone to the review, only for it to be sent back "Inconclusive - goal umpires decision". WHAT WAS THE FREAKING POINT?! Especially, ESPECIALLY, as we saw in the demons/scums game, the umpire was WRONG, and it's plain with anyone who has half a brain cell.
It's almost as if they have some guy sitting up in his cushy little box thinking "Brill, free footy game!", when suddenly he gets summoned to do his job and it's like "Crap! Whatever, wait a minute and a half and then come back inconclusive, I can't be bothered making a decision." It's not good enough. There should NOT be an "inconclusive" option - the AFL should have taken the time and the effort to bring in a system that would be definitive and accurate. If it meant more money for more cameras, then so be it. If it meant trialling cameras in different positions around the goalposts and the ground, then so be it. Bringing in this half-hearted bullcrap has only brought in more angst and speculation.
If you're going to do something, then do it properly. Don't bring in something that only causes more problems.
In other news, my cat likes eating footy players.
Weird animal.
The Score Review System that the AFL thought they were so smart bringing in is a complete and utter failure. How many times has the umpire gone to the review, only for it to be sent back "Inconclusive - goal umpires decision". WHAT WAS THE FREAKING POINT?! Especially, ESPECIALLY, as we saw in the demons/scums game, the umpire was WRONG, and it's plain with anyone who has half a brain cell.
It's almost as if they have some guy sitting up in his cushy little box thinking "Brill, free footy game!", when suddenly he gets summoned to do his job and it's like "Crap! Whatever, wait a minute and a half and then come back inconclusive, I can't be bothered making a decision." It's not good enough. There should NOT be an "inconclusive" option - the AFL should have taken the time and the effort to bring in a system that would be definitive and accurate. If it meant more money for more cameras, then so be it. If it meant trialling cameras in different positions around the goalposts and the ground, then so be it. Bringing in this half-hearted bullcrap has only brought in more angst and speculation.
If you're going to do something, then do it properly. Don't bring in something that only causes more problems.
In other news, my cat likes eating footy players.
Weird animal.
Saturday, 19 April 2014
"My Girl" vs "You Don't Love Me Anymore"
Driving back home to Oakey for my grandmothers birthday and Easter, I spent Friday morning sorting out a playlist for the trip. Hitting "shuffle", I headed out west (ugh) and as I was passing through Minden the Hoodoo Gurus "My Girl" came on, followed by Weird Al Yankovics "You Don't Love Me Anymore". I had to have a bit of a chuckle. For those who haven't heard the songs, both songs are sung from the perspective of a male whose girlfriend has decided for whatever reason that it's time to move on.
"My Girl" by the Hoodoo Gurus
"You Don't Love Me Anymore" by Weird Al Yankovic
Weird Al's song is clearly meant to be humourous and light-hearted - it's Weird Al for pete's sake. However, there is a certain drollness to "My Girl" that makes you smile when you sing along. Maybe it's the catchy, almost up-beat tune, maybe it's the tone or the simplicity of the lyrics. Or maybe it's the fact that while Weird Als character sounds like he's heartbroken at the thought of his girlfriend not loving him anymore, Dave Faulkners character almost has a "Well, that sucks" vibe. Sure, he talks about a girl taking "my love until I couldn't give anymore", but it still feels like he's not going to be throwing himself off a balcony anytime soon (and somehow by "love" I think he's referring to his paycheque). Dave sounds like he's simply been taken for a ride and while he's not happy, he's glad to be rid of her, whereas poor Al sounds like he's desperately clinging to this poor woman to his own detriment.
Either way, they're both great songs and both are very interesting takes on the subject of breaking up - one song coming across rather silly but being more emotionally invested and the other coming across a bit more seriously but with a little less emotional attachment.
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